I have been very often involved in dan examinations – either as candidate or as member of jury or, even more often, as coach and trainer for examinees.
Passing my rokudan and nanadan
involved a lot of training and conscious changing of my Kendo, in order to shed
a number of attitudes that were not in keeping with the grade. I found myself
doing LESS, not MORE, as an effect of preparing and passing my exams – and of
course I do not refer to the amount or frequency of keiko. I have been very
grateful to process of fail/change/try again I went through, which allowed me
to finally achieve what I was really looking for: not the grade itself, but a
new step in the evolution of my practice. On this basis, I can continue my
quest with renewed energy.
In retrospective, failed
examinations (which I experienced only after passing every exam till godan at
the first attempt) taught me more than successful ones. I can also recognise
that someone might take frustration with less aplomb than I did – I know kenshi who simply gave up trying or,
even worse, quit Kendo altogether. I believe there are no bad reasons to start Kendo
and only bad reasons to stop, but, as a teacher, I strive to find the words or
the actions to help those who are going through a sometimes painful process of
failure.
The first consideration I offer
comes from a gentleman called Donald Keene. Professor Keene was a world-renown
scholar who came once to Bologna to give a lecture to my Japanese language
class. I had the honour to listen to him and the topic of the lecture was How to Learn a Foreign Language. He said
that in order to conquer a seemingly impossible language (like Japanese) the
most important factor was Not to give in
to Frustration. Only those who can take the blow, feel the pain and endure
the frustration will in the end be able to learn, retain and express
themselves. It was not about Kendo, but these words rang so true to me, that I
never forgot them. Of course, feel the frustration and DO SOMETHING WITH IT,
was the obvious conclusion. Insist, adapt, discover new methods that work for
you – this would be true in any learning endeavour. So giving up and hiding
under a rock will not help. As the immensely wise Okamura sensei once answered
me, when I asked, Should I go take my dan examination?, IF YOU ARE STAYING IN
BED FOR SURE YOU WILL NOT PASS.
A category of failing candidates
is particularly close to my heart: those who suffer of stage fright. Straight,
fast, impeccable in the dojo, when exposed to the examination they turn either
in senseless hitting machines or in peevish clusters of fear. What a waste, I
think every time. Then I listen to the usual lithany of excuses: I am not good
at exams, I get too nervous/agitated/passive/confused, I was not ready
otherwise I would have been calmer/more concentrated/more reactive etc etc etc.
From here it’s easy to pass to endless discussions about the process of the
examination: the fairness, the usefulness, the effectiveness… Why we do not
receive a feedback from the jury? What is the purpose? Why am I alive?
This post is written especially
for these kenshi. I would like just to offer a different perspective, it might
happen this will help someone to conquer this obstacle.
There is an intriguing principle
in physics, called the Observer Effect. In very blunt terms, the act of
measuring a quantity alters the measure itself. It has been often paired with Heisenberg's
Uncertainty Principle, which has become so popular in nerds’ memes, together
with Schroedinger’s Cat, poor thing. I quote from the ever useful Wikipedia:
In physics, the term observer
effect refers to changes that
the act of observation will make on a phenomenon being observed. This is often the result of
instruments that, by necessity, alter the state of what they measure in some
manner….The uncertainty
principle has been frequently confused with the observer effect,
evidently even by its originator, Werner
Heisenberg. The
uncertainty principle in its standard form describes how precisely we may measure the position and momentum of a
particle at the same time — if we increase the precision in measuring one
quantity, we are forced to lose precision in measuring the other..
What has Heisenberg to do with
Kendo – or with Kendo dan examinations, then? Here is my take on it.
Dan examinations are a form of
measurement – and according to this Principle, they are also altering the
measure itself: YOU and YOUR KENDO. Here comes the Stage Fright, the sheer
panic, the mind that goes blank on the first kata and turns it in a mockery of
Gohonme. This is what happens – all the times and to all. No one can truthfully
state to go through a dan examination without being affected – because the exam
is especially designed to achieve this effect. It will always be like that,
doesn’t matter how many times the test is taken, failed or passed: it will
always change the mind and the practice of the candidates.
Why then? Why not letting
examinees practice supervised for some length, being observed, but without
pressure or time limitation? Exactly because the measurement would not be real,
since it would not affect the candidates: only under pressure, when being
consciously under observation, a kenshi can express the best he/she can do.
So, stop complaining about being
scared of examinations: they are exactly meant to do that, learn to live with
it and show your best spirit and technique, as if you did not feel the fear –
the same fear that will never go away and that also your opponent feels.
As Horibe sensei taught me,
Examination is a play. It is meant to be for the Observers, the jury. You must
have a script, you must have rehearsed, you have to show your best profile –
but still the moment to get on the stage you might be terrified. I wish to say:
It is normal – don’t let yourself be distracted by the circumstances, act as if
you know what you are doing – and this play will bring you to be better than
you think. It is the greatest teaching you can bring from kendo into your life:
by acknowledging your fear, you can become wiser and stronger. Not bad as a
takeaway.
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